Be Still Oh My Soul

My soul is restless right now. I feel like I should be doing something constantly. Today, I want to be numb. Numb to any and all emotions that are rushing like a rampaging sea inside of me. Healing, I'm concluding; will not come. Not completely, not ever. No sincere, softly spoken word or small gift will ever be able to repair the hole in my heart or life. 

Trust has never been my strong suit. Even trusting God. I can't see Him, I can feel Him occasionally, but if I'm not in His word constantly or consistently I feel like the only person I can trust is myself. That's the flesh right there. I still have my days and when I started this post with the first paragraph, that was one of those days! There are so many things that can and will change in the blink of an eye and I have no control over any of it. My emotions at times are one of those things that go completely out of control and then sometimes have to apologize. 

The day I started this there were so many things going on and I kept waiting on God to reveal the outcome, whether it would be favorable to me or not. Isn't that funny how we always want to know how something will turn out towards us. That's our selfishness in action right there. I think we need to start thinking as a loving parent like the Father. He wants what's best for us and if it's not then sometimes it's a 'No!' or even sometimes it will be a 'Yes' just to test us. I don't think He does the later often. 
Anyways, when you feel restless, hopeless and helpless. Just let the Lord carry you.